I hope everyone had a great Christmas. We've had a fun time with family and friends the past few days. It makes me realize how much time we don’t spend together. Life can get so hectic and demanding that we neglect to nurture good relationships with loved ones. Covid forced us to seclude ourselves and limit our time in public. With some of us who were able to work from home it became more of a way of life. We learned how to become part of online communities and made some great new friends in the process. The art community of TikTok has been a huge encouragement for me personally. After having to isolate ourselves for almost a year, it showed me how much I didn’t enjoy being out that much anyway. It caused me to take a second look at people and situations that maybe weren’t the best for me. To see those who valued the relationship we had, and who really didn’t. When you only hear from someone when YOU put forth the effort, it tends to put it into perspective. It revealed to me how much of my life I spent chasing others that didn’t value me as much as I did them. Yes, I still care for those people. And if they value me in the future, I’m likely to give them another chance. Because I do believe people can change. Life is ebb and flow.
I guess the moral of the story here is that we should re-evaluate relationships from time to time. Who values you? Who is interested in what you are doing?
Who checks on you? Who wants to make time for you?
What About You?
Is there anyone in your life that would say you were the one to blame?
Let’s look at both sides here.
We need to examine ourselves too. I have most definitely neglected relationships. There are people that I love dearly, and I haven’t made time for them. I got used to going where I had to daily, then getting back home as soon as possible. Then texting instead of calling was much easier and talking on the phone drives me crazy. But these are still lame excuses. Those who add to your happiness, give you encouragement and show interest in your life, keep them close. Make time for them.
However, there are relationships that aren’t healthy for us. I spent so much time chasing people in my life that left me feeling empty and wanting. Anyone who makes you feel less than, isn’t worth losing your self-respect, and self-worth over.
I purposefully removed myself from those, for my own sake. Toxicity can come in many forms. I have been toxic to others in the past if I’m being honest. I had a victim mentality most of my life. There’s not much you can do to help someone who thinks that way. There’s nothing you can say. They are a victim of everything! Knowing I was that way, I can’t blame anyone for feeling like I was toxic or pathetic. I accepted the fact that I hurt some relationships for having that outlook on life. But I don’t have to live with the guilt of it. Because I’m not that person anymore. While I would love to show them that I am different, it’s not necessarily my choice.
One of my favorite quotes is:
“Who you were, who you are,
and who you will be are three different people.”
~UNKNOWN~
Then there are people that don’t understand or get you. That’s okay too! We shouldn’t expect that. Those relationships aren’t necessarily bad, they just aren’t cohesive.
Not everyone vibes.
All we can do is try and be the best version of ourselves every day. Keep company with those who add worth and want to see us succeed. Boundaries are a great thing to have in place, and essential for self-growth. We reserve that right.
❤️